why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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