what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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