I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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