I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I would fuck him just for his dog
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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