Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
