I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
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So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
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In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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