how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
