shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Randomize
