We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize