Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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