I just pynch a tree in the face
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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