You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Ladies don't puke and tell
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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