as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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