are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
