she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
