Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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