didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
