I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Randomize
