i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
organizing the empties. That sober.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
