The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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