Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
