We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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