i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
