Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
