Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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