I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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