And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
