I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
