Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize