he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
