I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
