I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
