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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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