I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
