I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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