Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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