he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Is it penis luge time yet?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
She needs sedatives and a leash
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
