I skipped work to stalk him.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
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Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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