Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
BRING THE BAGELS
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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