why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
