First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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