i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
