Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
