So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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