This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
