I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
