i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
