My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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