I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
