Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
