I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
