Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
