I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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