Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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