I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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