Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
