your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Randomize
