My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
