Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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