i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
