it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
