So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Randomize
